you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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