you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
