Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
