Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
