Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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