well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
