He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
