I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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