If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
