I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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