I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
