you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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