He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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