Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I love black thongs
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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