You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
