It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I've blown a few things in my day
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
