kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
