Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
