sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
