problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
