remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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