butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
