You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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