i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
