he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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