there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
