ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize