The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
