Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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