Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
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