im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
