i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
