He asked me if I "almost moaned"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
