dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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