And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
