Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Found the puke drawer
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
