Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
