My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
