what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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