It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
