then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
