woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
