Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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