thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
