Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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