I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
