So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
