all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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