omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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