idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
