I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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