let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
