Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Randomize
