so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
