she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize