Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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