I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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