We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Jerry, you need to find god
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
