real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
