Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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