Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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