I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
